Many have heard the quote “don’t judge a book by its cover.” You may have heard this from a parent, teacher, or mentor growing up. It is possible to apply this quote to movies by simply saying don’t judge a movie by its trailer because if I had followed this advice and not watched ”The Goods” I would have nearly 90 minutes of my life back.
“The Goods” consists of an all-star cast, wait I mean more or less well-known cast. Watching this film with an open mind you may discover all the characters start out okay and eventually fall into a pile of non-effort actors and actresses with the exception of three characters. Ving Rhames character, Jibby Newsome, Don Ready’s (Jeremy Piven) friend and sales partner, Craig Robinson’s character, D.J. Request, a DJ brought in by Don Ready and Will Ferrel’s character Craig McDermott a mystery man from Don’s past. Many hopes were held high upon seeing the cast, many known for comedy performances in the past. Such as David Koechner, Ed Helms, Ken Jeong, the list goes on but not for too long.
Jeremy Piven and the team ready to ruin what could have been a good movie. (Excluding Ving of course)
The basic plot is that Don Ready a used-car liquidator and his team are hired by a failing dealership to help empty the lot for the dealership’s Fourth of July sale. The one scene worth watching was the one that was previewed in the theatrical trailer so if you saw that trailer, you saw the good version of the movie! Several cameos, impressions, sexual content, and language is all the film has on its plate but it is simply not enough to feed the hungry moviegoer. This film does not even deserve a long review, there is no more need to write anything except for good job Ving Rhames, Craig Robinson, and Will Ferrell. Oh and Jeremy Piven you were doing okay then you blew it sorry.
Ed Helms and Jordana Spiro in "The Goods: Live Hard Sell Hard"
Imagine an online video. Two minutes long, there are some pretty funny jokes. You don’t mind that it is poorly shot, because it is…well an online video. Now stretch that into an hour and twenty five minutes (sadly it doesn’t feel anywhere near that short). Don’t add any jokes, keep the bad filming, and release it in theaters nationwide. The result is Miss March. The experience is so excruciating, even a thirteen year old, still suffering from the jitters of sneaking into an R-rated movie will contemplate walking out at some point in the film. I wish I had. The story surrounds Tucker and Eugene, played by Trevor Moore and Zach Creeger respectively (the duo wrote and directed as well). A staunch advocate for abstinence, Eugene promises his girlfriend that they will have sex on the night of their prom. Nervous, and perhaps second guessing himself about the whole idea, Eugene follows Tucker’s advice, and does a few rounds to calm his nerves. Now ready, he leaves to go to his waiting girlfriend but accidentally falls into the basement and subsequently into a coma. Cut to four years in the future, Tucker hits Eugene in the face with a baseball bat, bringing him out of his coma. Eugene finds out that his girlfriend is now a Playboy Playmate (specifically Miss March), and they set off to reunite Eugene with Cindi, and to fulfill Tucker’s lifelong dream of going to the Playboy mansion.
Like a typical road movie, they run into many obstacles along the way, from an epileptic girlfriend to crazed firemen. They are helped through their problems from such unlikely help as Horsedick.mpeg an MC they knew from high school whose song “I’ma love a white girl” (Radio Edit) is topping the charts. As well as two Russian lesbians who are so madly in love with each other they can’t stop having sex. If any of this sounds cliche or gimicky that’s because it is. The high point of the movie is when Eugene and Horsedick.mpeg are sharing a cigar sized joint on the “party bus”. That’s where the humor and the quality end. There are attempts at outrageous moments which fall flat on their face (a scene where Tucker stabs his girlfriend in the face while she is “going downtown” specifically comes to mind). But they never seem to realize it and keep trying the same jokes again and again for the entire length of this horror.
Miss March is the debut film of both Creeger and Moore, and it shows. It would be nice to know what the budget was, but by the poor quality of the filming, the lack of consistent lighting, and the consumer grade look of the footage, I would be tempted to guess $100,000 even though the reality is probably more like 50-75 times that number (at least). I hope this teaches film executives that success as a comedy troupe doesn’t necessarily translate into aptitude behind the camera, or even writing a screenplay. At the very least please let this give you pause before greenlighting similar projects (I’m looking at you Mr. Rice). Some of films greatest directors haven’t attended film school, and have turned out well, churning out some of the greatest achievements in film history. Mr. Creeger, and Mr. Moore, you aren’t Kubricks, and you aren’t Andersons. Please stick with your comedy skits, the world would be a better place without Miss March, but it’s too late for that. All we can hope for is to stop a similar film from getting made.
If you take anything out of this review let it be this; Miss March is utter garbage that does not deserve anyone’s time or money. Don’t ignore these words because maybe “he’s just a critic, he has no sense of humor” or “well I like mindless movies”. You will never forgive yourself for watching this movie. I promise you.
(This is the first of many past due reviews…consider it us catching up on movies we haven’t reviewed yet. Enjoy)
Directed by: Judd Apatow
Starring: Seth Rogen and Katherine Heigl
Rating:
In the time between Knocked Up’s release, and this review, Judd Apatow has become a type of household name for most film-goers. His name attached to a release will guarantee it a certain place on the box office charts. That all began with Knocked Up. Knocked Up is a comedy of sorts that chronicles the clusterfuck that is Ben and Alison’s relationship. They meet at a club, and imbibe too much alcohol and end up having sex that is well…rushed. A few weeks later, it becomes evident to Alison that Ben lied about using a condom, and she is pregnant. Now, the storyline sounds like it would promise almost endless laughs as Ben tries to shirk his duties, or talks to his friends (played by Jay Baruchel, Jonah Hill, Martin Starr, and Jason Segel) about his conquests. That is where you would go wrong. Don’t get me wrong, Knocked Up has funny parts, but it is more of a romance then a comedy.
As the film progresses and becomes more mature, Ben has to decide whether he wants to keep his easy life working on a celebrity nudity site and smoking pot, or whether he wants to try to keep the girl. It follows the stereotypical path of the pothead who is afraid of losing his lifestyle, then realizes that other things matter more in life. The acting is all very solid, with the standouts being Paul Rudd (as Pete, Alison’s brother-in-law) and Leslie Mann (as Alison’s sister). Their marriage is on the rocks, and while their relationship is an exaggeration made for comedic effect, they play it as if they were a married couple. If there is one thing Judd Apatow has proven with this movie, it is that he is in touch with emotions and the intricacies of relationships. Every character in the film, no matter how ridiculous they may seem could actually be a real person, and the emotions they display are nothing short of perfect.
Knocked Up is a predictable movie, from the moment the movie starts you know what has to happen. But that is not a bad thing. It has shown that it isn’t trying to be anything special. Apatow was not trying to invent any new genres, or set the bar for comedies to follow (see Superbad) but rather trying to make the best movie he could, and he succeeded. While Knocked Up may not be the funniest ever, it is all in all a solid film that gives you a happy feeling in the end, something that lets you know, things could really be worse.
When I went into Role Models, I was assuming that it would be a trailer fake (a movie whose trailer is awesome, but the movie well…isn’t). After a few months of let downs (read The Rocker) no one would fault me for thinking that. Let me make this official, I was wrong. Role Models is about two underachievers who find themselves in a situation where to avoid jail, they agree to volunteer for 150 hours at a Big Brothers Big Sisters type organization. Neither wants to be there, but Sean William Scott’s character provides some convincing reasons for going through with it. Danny (Rudd) gets paired with Augie Farks, played by Christopher Mintz-Plasse who almost breaks out of the role he set for himself in Superbad, a geek obsessed with a real life Medieval role playing game called LAIRE. Wheeler (Scott) is unfortunate enough to get paired with Ronnie (played very convincingly by Bobb’e J. Thompson), whose goal it is to never keep a “Big” for longer then 24 hours. A goal he has had great success achieving before Wheeler.
To say that Role Models was a pleasant surprise would be an understatement. It comes during a time where the big wigs seem to think that a movie has to be horribly raunchy to be funny, but no surprise, the movie comes out as raunchy, and not…well, funny. That’s not to say that Role Models isn’t without its raunchy moments, but they are far outweighed by truly funny moments, the kind that are becoming more and more of a rarity.
The performances are solid, but with the exception of Bobb’e J. Thompson, they aren’t anything special. He delivers his lines with such force and confidence that for a moment you forget your horror that those words are coming out of a ten year-old’s mouth, then the horror returns, but you are left with a sense that if he keeps acting, he’s going to become a comedy staple in the coming years.
We all know that guys secretly like chick flicks, ok we like the ending, the part where it all comes together and everyone ends up getting together, and they ride off into the sunset. Role Models leaves you with that feeling, but you don’t have to sneak into the movie, an R-rated comedy with Stifler, no one will ever suspect you. So go, enjoy this movie, and admit it. Role Models is a good film.
Under no circumstances would I have paid to see a low-brow comedy Ben Stiller film, except that I was on Kauai while Tropic Thunder was being filmed. Don’t get me wrong- I am a Ben Stiller fan, but his gross-out movies usually succeed in grossing me out. As such, I did not expect much from TT, but I was impressed with Robert Downey Jr. cast as a confused actor playing a hackneyed black man. His character borrows from the Method Acting theory, a perennial favorite technique honed by Marlon Brando and Robert De Niro.
In TT, an unlikely grouping of meta-actors recovering from washed-up fame and dud films are lured into the Viet Nam jungle by an ambitious director to reenact a war veteran’s harrowing story. The stars of this action film embark on a satirical journey of self-discovery and personal identity, motivated by their love of acting and the lime light, and then survival itself.
Of course there were laughs. You can’t put Ben Stiller, Jack Black, and the expected-unexpected cameos in one movie and not let your guard down a little. Although Robert Downey Jr. stole the show as far as I’m concerned (he is now my favorite actor), it seems that everyone went to great lengths to conquer new territory. While a pasty white, overweight Tom Cruise might have intended to steal this show, and he was amusing, he merely succeeded in creeping me out even further. His repeated dance routine was funny at first, but then it kept going and I was distracted by the thought of the bill for Suri’s future therapy sessions.
And it seems nearly every effort was made to offend. Use of the word “retard” notably has some up in arms. Offensive language dominates the script.There is racial stereotyping, blood and gore, a white actor in blackface, airborne toddlers- all in the name of profiling the Hollywood big-budget film industry, of course.
In between pyrotechnics and shouted curse words, Stiller flexes his biceps as the actors discuss their craft and why taking risks in their career is not always the best route (cut-away to Tom Cruise) and why maintaining dignity is a means of maintaining an audience (insert Jack Black farting here). Matthew McConaughey, flown in last minute while Owen Wilson was treated for depression, plays a desperate agent to Stiller’s Tugg Speedman, demonstrating that career insecurity permeates Hollywood strata and nearly everyone in the industry is working for accolades and positive affirmation.
Columbia Pictures has released the teaser trailer for Steve Martin’s The Pink Panther 2 online. Opening February 6, 2009, the Harald Zwart-directed comedy co-stars Jean Reno, Emily Mortimer, Andy Garcia, John Cleese, Alfred Molina, Molly Sims, Aishwarya Rai and Yuki Matsuzaki.
The Rocker follows Robert “Fish” Fishman, a drummer in an eighties band. He is kicked out, and twenty years later he joins his nephews band. I’m not being fair. Check out the trailer.
The Rocker opens August 1st. It stars Rainn Wilson, Josh Gad, and Will Arnet.
Despite movie executives best efforts, the script of Oliver Stone’s movie covering George W Bush’s time in office has leaked. The New York Post has reportedly obtained a copy of the script despite Stone’s determination to keep details of “W” under wraps with watermarked scripts and scripts being embargoed in order to maintain tight security.
Stars of the film are Ioan Gruffud, Thandie Newton and Josh Brolin. The movie reportedly pokes fun at GW Bush and creates dastardly caricatures of both Bush and members of his administration. Bill Clinton is also parodied in the movie and reportedly has a scene ion which he is referred to as a “lardass”.
The leaked script goes on to make fun of Bush’s relationship with his parents, his alleged incompetence, his Texan accent and, most controversially, his decision to go to war with Iraq in 2003.
“W” which started filming on May 12 in Louisiana, has a release date scheduled for October 2008.
I have to admit, I never saw this coming. While everyone was talking about Harold and Kumar was going to sweep the box office, Baby Mama, a comedy starring Tina Fey (30 Rock) came in and stole it out from under the stoners. Over the weekend, Baby Mama brought in $18.3 million, while Harold and Kumar only took in $14.6.
Yeah, it confuses me as much as it does you. Why would a stoner comedy lose to a semi-chick flick? My theory is that over these past few months, there has been almost no films for the 30-55 age group for females, Baby Mama changed that. What do you think? Theories?
Living up to his reputation as the most unfunny and annoying guy in movies today, Dane Cook has scored another romantic-comedy with a paper-thin plot. And just to make matters worse, it also stars Kate Hudson, his female equivalent. The movies is called “My Best Friend’s Girl” (formerly “Bachelor #2″) and Myspace has scored a trailer. You might be saying “Oh come on, they aren’t that bad.” But wait, you haven’t seen the trailer yet:
Following in the footsteps of the absolutely horrible “Good Luck Chuck”, Dane Cook pretty much recycles the idea and twists it a bit. Here is the description at ComingSoon.net:
My Best Friend’s Girl, opening September 19, stars Dane Cook, Kate Hudson, Jason Biggs and Alec Baldwin. In the film, Cook plays Tank, a master at seducing – and offending – women. When guys get dumped, they hire Tank to take their ex-girlfriends out on the worst date of their lives – an experience so horrible it sends them running gratefully back to their beaus. So when Tank’s best friend, Dustin (Biggs), is dumped by his new girlfriend, Tank naturally offers to help out… and ends up meeting the challenge of a lifetime. Smart, beautiful and headstrong, Alexis (Hudson) is the first girl who knows how to call his bluff, and Tank soon finds himself torn between his loyalty to Dustin and his love for his best friend’s girl.
Part of me wants to see this just to reinforce my suspicion that Dane Cook is the devil sent to destroy us. But another part of me doesn’t think I can sit through him AND Kate Hudson. In theaters, September 19 (on DVD probably by September 20).
