2009 had some great films, but it also had its share of stinkers. I’m not going to do a post on the potentially horrible films of 2010 (it would be waaaay too long). Lets stay optimistic and look at the five best looking films of the next twelve months. Continue reading →

Ok, there have been absolutely way too many top ten lists, but it’s kind of a must do for film critics…sorry. Here it is.

(In no particular order)

1. Up
2. Fantastic Mr. Fox
3. Avatar
4. The Hurt Locker
5. Star Trek
6. Inglourious Basterds
7. Up In The Air
8. District 9
9. 500 Days of Summer
10. Where the Wild Things Are

Though you need to know that I live in a town with a fairly lame theater and haven’t seen most of the good movies. Including, but not limited to: Precious, The Road, The White Ribbon, Nine, An Education, A Single Man, The Messenger, and Crazy Heart. I really need to move…

Armored

Rating:

It starts with a simple enough idea. A couple of guys working for an armored car company. In about three words they tell the few ideas that are necessary for the story to work. The cars will all be outfitted with GPS (when, who knows…they just aren’t there yet) and that the next day they will be transporting forty-two million dollars. A whole lotta dough. In another two minutes they lay it all out for us. Ty (Columbus Short) is having money problems. Big ones that unsurprisingly decide to be unbearable just a few days before the big heist. Mike (Matt Dillon) decides that since Ty has earned his stripes he should be brought into the loop. They are going to jack their own cars. Stash the money then set it up to look like they were robbed. Easy as that. To make everything look good, Ty has to say no. He has to worry about the whole thing before he agrees. Magically nine hours after the idea is floated he shows up ready to play his part. Lets just say that things go downhill from there (Take that how you wish).

If they had taken the time to do rewrites on the script they would have noticed that it is some of the most inane drivel ever seen on paper. The fact that the characters names were repeated dozens of times was the least of the problems. I would be more then happy to send over a few books on screenwriting to Mr. Simpson if he would like. All I need is your address.

Screenplay problems aside, the movie was still flawed. Matt Dillon was in full drama mode with his face set and his eyes bold. His voice extra strong. It was a shame to see such a great cast take their places in the back, relegated to such obscure tasks as pounding bolts, and grunting a lot. They additions (Fishburne, and Reno mostly) were brought on to accent the cast, but their inability to show their acting ability brought the entire movie down a notch. It was sad to watch.

Mostly this movie suffered from having no story. No story meant they had to find some way to take up time. Some way to fill the onscreen minutes. Instead of filling the time with car chases (There was one, we’ll get to that in a minute) and beatings, they chose to fill it with insane conversations where nothing happened except the characters names were repeated a few more times and they both pleaded their side of the story. About the car chase. Imagine the sheer power, the power brought on by the weight of two armored trucks trying to ram each other off the road. Strong right, can’t you just see the dust billowing up, the metal sheering off where the two ran into each other in their attempts to be the victor. Ok, that’s what it could have been. Somehow they managed to turn a car chase with great potential into one of the slowest sequences in the film. Shame.

Please don’t waste your time on this. It’s not even looking out for at RedBox. Just let it die. Please.

Miss March

Rating:

Imagine an online video. Two minutes long, there are some pretty funny jokes. You don’t mind that it is poorly shot, because it is…well an online video. Now stretch that into an hour and twenty five minutes (sadly it doesn’t feel anywhere near that short). Don’t add any jokes, keep the bad filming, and release it in theaters nationwide. The result is Miss March. The experience is so excruciating, even a thirteen year old, still suffering from the jitters of sneaking into an R-rated movie will contemplate walking out at some point in the film. I wish I had. The story surrounds Tucker and Eugene, played by Trevor Moore and Zach Creeger respectively (the duo wrote and directed as well). A staunch advocate for abstinence, Eugene promises his girlfriend that they will have sex on the night of their prom. Nervous, and perhaps second guessing himself about the whole idea, Eugene follows Tucker’s advice, and does a few rounds to calm his nerves. Now ready, he leaves to go to his waiting girlfriend but accidentally falls into the basement and subsequently into a coma. Cut to four years in the future, Tucker hits Eugene in the face with a baseball bat, bringing him out of his coma. Eugene finds out that his girlfriend is now a Playboy Playmate (specifically Miss March), and they set off to reunite Eugene with Cindi, and to fulfill Tucker’s lifelong dream of going to the Playboy mansion.

Like a typical road movie, they run into many obstacles along the way, from an epileptic girlfriend to crazed firemen. They are helped through their problems from such unlikely help as Horsedick.mpeg an MC they knew from high school whose song “I’ma love a white girl” (Radio Edit) is topping the charts. As well as two Russian lesbians who are so madly in love with each other they can’t stop having sex. If any of this sounds cliche or gimicky that’s because it is. The high point of the movie is when Eugene and Horsedick.mpeg are sharing a cigar sized joint on the “party bus”. That’s where the humor and the quality end. There are attempts at outrageous moments which fall flat on their face (a scene where Tucker stabs his girlfriend in the face while she is “going downtown” specifically comes to mind). But they never seem to realize it and keep trying the same jokes again and again for the entire length of this horror.

Miss March is the debut film of both Creeger and Moore, and it shows. It would be nice to know what the budget was, but by the poor quality of the filming, the lack of consistent lighting, and the consumer grade look of the footage, I would be tempted to guess $100,000 even though the reality is probably more like 50-75 times that number (at least). I hope this teaches film executives that success as a comedy troupe doesn’t necessarily translate into aptitude behind the camera, or even writing a screenplay. At the very least please let this give you pause before greenlighting similar projects (I’m looking at you Mr. Rice). Some of films greatest directors haven’t attended film school, and have turned out well, churning out some of the greatest achievements in film history. Mr. Creeger, and Mr. Moore, you aren’t Kubricks, and you aren’t Andersons. Please stick with your comedy skits, the world would be a better place without Miss March, but it’s too late for that. All we can hope for is to stop a similar film from getting made.

If you take anything out of this review let it be this; Miss March is utter garbage that does not deserve anyone’s time or money. Don’t ignore these words because maybe “he’s just a critic, he has no sense of humor” or “well I like mindless movies”. You will never forgive yourself for watching this movie. I promise you.

My top 10 favorite movies differ greatly from the greatest films of the year (with the strange exception of this year where two films make my top 10 of all time list), but I feel that instead, each year deserves its own top 10 list, so without further adieu, here is my list of the top ten films of the year, listed alphabetically (ordering them my quality would be hard if not 100% impossible)(Keep in mind that this list is limited to the movies that I have had the privilege of seeing this year):

1. Ballast
2. Che
3. The Dark Knight
4. Frost/Nixon
5. In Bruges
6. Milk
7. Revolutionary Road
8. Slumdog Millionaire
9. WALL-E
10. The Wrestler

Slumdog Millionaire

Dir. Danny Boyle

Rating:

     Coming back from directing the less then enjoyable Sunshine, versatile director Danny Boyle directs what is one of, if not the best film this year. Slumdog tells the story of Jamal Malik who goes on the Indian version of Who Wants to Be a Millionaire in order to reconnect with the love of his life, and is arrested and accused of cheating when he is one question away from winning it all. He has to go back in his life, and tell the police how he could have possibly known the answer to the questions that he was asked. If left in less experienced hands, this could have turned into a campy love story. Instead, it turned into a touching story of how love matters above all else, even 20,000,000 rupees (about $408,250).

     Dev Patel stars as the oldest Jamal. He is arguably the weakest link of this film (no, no pun intended…obscure game show…no?). His stoic expression works well for him for most of the film, but I just can’t buy the stoicism during the tender scenes. It is almost depressing to see his lack of emotion during scenes that should affect him. Something as little as a smile would have sufficed, but alas, it was not delivered. The younger actors do a fairly solid job in general, but the standout was Tanday Hemat Chheda, whose performance as middle Jamal was emotionally charged and full of a passion unseen in the other cast members. His role required him to be sad, angry, happy, and loving. All of which he portrayed with great confidence and ability.

     The filming was gritty, and occasionally grainy, which rather then detracting from the film added to the feeling of poverty and grime. The stark contrast of scenes full of vibrant color and those devoid of it helped to accentuate the emotion of the film, and how various parts of Jamal’s life played off of the others. This is just one example of the small additions to the film that helped to deepen the audience’s  identification with the characters and their plight. Danny Boyle has set himself into many good habits, most of all the tradition of creating great films (with a few exceptions) but in his career he has also entered into the bad habit of constantly creating shots with a cockeyed camera. It worked well in 28 Days Later due to its nature as a fast paced, almost angry film, but the shots don’t find their place in Slumdog, and instead only serve to remove the viewer from the world so meticulously created by the filmmakers. Occasionally placed strange shots do assist the filmmaker in helping to make the viewer feel uncomfortable at the necessary moments. Its attempt to push the Brechtian idea that occasionally the viewer needs to be reminded that they are watching something fake rather then an account of real life is legitimate but not when it is at cross purposes with the events of the story.

     At its heart, Slumdog is a romance. It is a tale of how love will survive no matter what the odds. Despite its occassionally dark scenes and less then happy events, it provides a story that anyone can identify with, and use to institute changes in their own life and relationships. It’s not often one can call a movie with a happy ending a “masterpiece” (the reason why escapes me), but I can with confidence tell you that Slumdog Millionaire is a masterpiece. It’s the type of film that should be cherished due to its once-in-a-generation status of the kind of film that will not only make you feel great, make you cry, and make you a better person all at the same time. So open your heart, and let Jamal and Latika in. You won’t be sorry.

(This is the first of many past due reviews…consider it us catching up on movies we haven’t reviewed yet. Enjoy)

Directed by: Judd Apatow

Starring: Seth Rogen and Katherine Heigl

Rating:

    
     In the time between Knocked Up’s release, and this review, Judd Apatow has become a type of household name for most film-goers. His name attached to a release will guarantee it a certain place on the box office charts. That all began with Knocked Up. Knocked Up is a comedy of sorts that chronicles the clusterfuck that is Ben and Alison’s relationship. They meet at a club, and imbibe too much alcohol and end up having sex that is well…rushed. A few weeks later, it becomes evident to Alison that Ben lied about using a condom, and she is pregnant. Now, the storyline sounds like it would promise almost endless laughs as Ben tries to shirk his duties, or talks to his friends (played by Jay Baruchel, Jonah Hill, Martin Starr, and Jason Segel) about his conquests. That is where you would go wrong. Don’t get me wrong, Knocked Up has funny parts, but it is more of a romance then a comedy.

     As the film progresses and becomes more mature, Ben has to decide whether he wants to keep his easy life working on a celebrity nudity site and smoking pot, or whether he wants to try to keep the girl. It follows the stereotypical path of the pothead who is afraid of losing his lifestyle, then realizes that other things matter more in life. The acting is all very solid, with the standouts being Paul Rudd (as Pete, Alison’s brother-in-law) and Leslie Mann (as Alison’s sister). Their marriage is on the rocks, and while their relationship is an exaggeration made for comedic effect, they play it as if they were a married couple. If there is one thing Judd Apatow has proven with this movie, it is that he is in touch with emotions and the intricacies of relationships. Every character in the film, no matter how ridiculous they may seem could actually be a real person, and the emotions they display are nothing short of perfect.

     Knocked Up is a predictable movie, from the moment the movie starts you know what has to happen. But that is not a bad thing. It has shown that it isn’t trying to be anything special. Apatow was not trying to invent any new genres, or set the bar for comedies to follow (see Superbad) but rather trying to make the best movie he could, and he succeeded. While Knocked Up may not be the funniest ever, it is all in all a solid film that gives you a happy feeling in the end, something that lets you know, things could really be worse.

DreamWorks Animation

Voices by: Ben Stiller
                Chris Rock
                David Schwimmer
                Jada Pinkett Smith
                Sacha Baron Cohen

Rating:

     In a post WALL-E world, it is hard for an animated movie to get by with sub par animation and a less than adequate plot line. This is a memo that DreamWorks and Co. must not have gotten. Madagascar 2 passes the bar set by the first, but not by a very high margin. The first film’s animation seemed like they had taken the easy way out, saving on production time and budget. The second film continues the poor animation but tries to pass it off as a stylistic decision rather then a time saving measure. At the very least, one would have expected the textures to be of a higher quality then those used in the first, they had three years to work on it. Three years not well spent.

     The film starts off with the characters on Madagascar waiting for their escape plane to launch them back to New York. Things go wrong, and they end up falling down to…Africa. The story progresses from there in a very predictable plot arc, Alex’s (Ben Stiller) part of which is very reminiscent of The Lion King, almost too much so. Saying that the storyline is horrible would not be totally fair, as they have come a long way since the first in 2005.

     One of the most aggravating parts of the first film, the lemurs, were thankfully almost absent from this film, with the sole exception of King Julien (voiced by Sacha Baron Cohen). His scenes were some of the best parts of the film, and were funny without being gimmicky like he and his clan were in the first film. The rest of the voice acting in the film was solid, but none of it outstanding. Alec Baldwin’s scenes as Makunga were a nice shoutout to all the adults in the audience, making it easier to digest.

    Madagascar is going to be a long standing franchise, as evidenced by the announcement of Madagascar 3 long before this film was finished, and I believe that Madagascar is a maturing franchise, one that will take many years and sequels before they can be enjoyed by anyone over the age of 6. Hold on, and wait for Madagascar 6, because Madagascar 2 is borderline unwatchable.

Directed by David Wain

Starring Sean William Scott, and Paul Rudd

Rating:

     When I went into Role Models, I was assuming that it would be a trailer fake (a movie whose trailer is awesome, but the movie well…isn’t). After a few months of let downs (read The Rocker) no one would fault me for thinking that. Let me make this official, I was wrong. Role Models is about two underachievers who find themselves in a situation where to avoid jail, they agree to volunteer for 150 hours at a Big Brothers Big Sisters type organization. Neither wants to be there, but Sean William Scott’s character provides some convincing reasons for going through with it. Danny (Rudd) gets paired with Augie Farks, played by Christopher Mintz-Plasse who almost breaks out of the role he set for himself in Superbad, a geek obsessed with a real life Medieval role playing game called LAIRE. Wheeler (Scott) is unfortunate enough to get paired with Ronnie (played very convincingly by Bobb’e J. Thompson), whose goal it is to never keep a “Big” for longer then 24 hours. A goal he has had great success achieving before Wheeler.

    To say that Role Models was a pleasant surprise would be an understatement. It comes during a time where the big wigs seem to think that a movie has to be horribly raunchy to be funny, but no surprise, the movie comes out as raunchy, and not…well, funny. That’s not to say that Role Models isn’t without its raunchy moments, but they are far outweighed by truly funny moments, the kind that are becoming more and more of a rarity.

    The performances are solid, but with the exception of Bobb’e J. Thompson, they aren’t anything special. He delivers his lines with such force and confidence that for a moment you forget your horror that those words are coming out of a ten year-old’s mouth, then the horror returns, but you are left with a sense that if he keeps acting, he’s going to become a comedy staple in the coming years.

   We all know that guys secretly like chick flicks, ok we like the ending, the part where it all comes together and everyone ends up getting together, and they ride off into the sunset. Role Models leaves you with that feeling, but you don’t have to sneak into the movie, an R-rated comedy with Stifler, no one will ever suspect you. So go, enjoy this movie, and admit it. Role Models is a good film.

Just want to remind you that a copy of the three disc edition of Wall-E is up for grabs here, all you need to do is leave a comment…just one measly comment telling my you need the movie…just one.